What We Really Want
by kallmered
Summary: Moira Hawke and her sister escape Kirkwall leaving their cousin, Karinth, to disappear with Anders. Sebastian tails the sisters for a lead, ignoring how close he'd been with Moira. When he and Fenris find them they are forced to choose. "What do we want?"


Whoo, it's been a loooong time since I've posted anything on . Please enjoy, and please, message me or leave a review if you think the character categories are incorrect for this fic, considering the peeps. This story features three Hawkes, Karinth being the eldest and daughter of Leandra. She romanced Anders and supported the Mages. AKA the ring leader. Freya romanced Fenris and Moria 'romanced' Sebastian. (I love/hate that sexy Scottish bastard!) These two girls are sisters and all three of the women are mages. Enjoy!

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Karinth Hawke and her two cousins, Freya and Moira Hawke, had all escaped Lothering together six years before. They stayed in the hold of a cargo ship for two whole weeks, had lived in a dingy decrepit hovel for nearly two years. They built a team of warriors, rouges and more fellow mages, built friendships and formed relationships of various versions of love. They grew a fortune that had cost them Carver, and one of their own rose to own a title so that not even the templars could find them, right under their noses.

The three laughed and cried together, made hard decisions together, argued often and fought together just as often. They lost Carver to the Wardens and dear Leandra to a madman. They tried to stem the growing tide but Anders, Karinth's lover, forced their hands too act all too soon...

Maybe that was where they went wrong, Moira wondered as she followed her sister Freya's tireless lead. Blood was still caked on their cheeks from the Templar's they'd battled, a result of the decision their elder cousin had decided for them without batting an eye. They could hardly blame her though, now. Considering what happened...

Moria would never forget how it felt to watch the beloved chantry burst into a red vengeance, a vortex in the night. Would never forget the sound of the man she loved scream for the loss of Elthina. She had wanted nothing more than to go to him, hold him in her arms and comfort...

She shivered even as she walked, reminded of Sebastian's rage upon Karinth, which meant turning upon Moira and Freya as well. Karinth was the eldest, the wisest you could say. The sisters would never move against her. They could not, they'd been through everything together. And Sebastian would not allow Anders to live. So he left.

But...someone went with him.

Moira looked up and watched her sister ruthlessly slashing at tree branches from their path with her staff, almost desperately. Freya had lost her lover, Fenris, to Karinth's instant choice in siding with the mages.

Even the couple's ruthless love for one another could not stand against the movement of destiny, Moira thought.

Sebastian had called for Anders death. When he spoke to the three, _"If he lives, I will exact revenge!"_ Karinth had scowled and turned her back on Sebastian, followed happily by Freya, and reluctantly by Moira herself. It was the hardest thing she'd ever done...

After Fenris left too, Freya screaming at his back, the battle had begun. When it ended, with both Orsino and Meredith were dead. The remaining group split up almost immediately, the need to protect Karinth and Anders lives being paramount. So they all went opposite directions, to throw of pursuit. Isabela had jumped on her ship along with Merrill and offered the two sisters to meet with her at the near seaside town. It would lead to a cold trail far from Anders and Karinth. _"We'll be there, lovies. We'll have to find some hands, but we will be there. Hang tightly my kittens." _Without her, there was likely no escaping the region safely.

Aveline vowed to stay behind to try and buy them all time, with Donnic and her guardsmen backing her up. _"Don't forget to write. I'll be so cross with you all if don't, and you can expect boxed ears next time I see you."_

They did not know which way Karinth had gone to, but they knew Anders was with her. It was probably best no one knew.

"You never said where we were going, sister?" Moira asked suddenly, wiping her soggy black hair from her eyes. She hoped for her sake that Freya was past the rage and returned to her usual sarcastic self.

"Crazy. Haven't you guessed that for yourself yet?"

Aw. Forgot to mention Freya was the joker. She was inappropriate and aggressive, cruel even, if the mood suited her.

Karinth had been calm, but was never afraid to intimidate or flaunt her magic, while Moira herself was purely diplomatic and friendly. It was something that Sebastian had complimented of her often. The most sane Hawke of them, he had said. _"You are a rose among thorns, serah."_ Oh how she hated when he called her that. When he said her first name...mmm, she melted.

Maybe she was not a thorn, but she was still a mage; all three of them were. She wished she had been able to take vows along side Sebastian in the chantry. Taken his lovely offer of peace and chaste love. But Maker knew she would have lied with him if he had only asked. She was not the most devout woman, despite her appearances at the chantry most days. But Sebastian was honorable..._Oh, stop thinking about him like he didn't stab us all in the back!_

"You've got that look sister." Freya spoke through the din of rain, amber eyes watching her younger twin. "You'd best hope he doesn't chase after you. He'd only put an arrow in your aching heart."

"What about Fenris? He must feel bad for leaving...he was angry at Karinth, not you."

Freya sneered. "He was. He knew we would side with her and spare Anders. He hates mages. Did you know that, by the way?"

Moira could not help the little grin that sprang to her lips. "As you say, sister dearest."

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It took a few days to trudge their way to the nearby town but they made it. Almost in one piece. Freya was bitching nonstop and Moira's infinite patience was nearly drawn out between the endless rain and her sister.

"I don't think Isabela made it to the docks yet." Freya said as they stood upon a hill overlooking the sea and the town. "I don't see her ship."

"She was probably grabbing anyone willing to help her sail." Moira added. "Poor Merrill would be hopeless on a vessel."

"Shit." Freya growled and spun around. "Go get some food and shelter, sis. I'll scout the area while you're gone."

Moira nodded, understanding her sister's need to stay behind, especially now. Freya had platinum hair the color of fresh snow, which she often hid with a bandana. A by-product of nearly losing her life in the fade as a brash youngster.

Regardless, Freya's hair was very distinctive and easily recognized in a crowd. Moira retained the signature Hawke black hair which she kept in long waves and plaits. Which meant she looked plain and easily forgettable. "I'll be back in less than an hour."

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It had been two weeks since they sat waiting for Isabela's ship on the hillside. They assumed something had gone wrong, but they could nothing. It was unusual for the two of them to be out of the loop, normally directly in the action.

"You think Sebastian got 'em?"

Moira shuddered. "He seemed very serious with his threat..."

Freya snorted in an unladylike way. "He's serious about putting sugar in his tea. I don't know how you love him so much. Andraste this! Andraste that!"

Moira frowned. "Well the only time you and Fenris ever agreed on anything was apparently in the bedroom."

Freya's silly grin was wiped from her lips instantly and she became quiet. Instantly Moira felt horrible for her words.

"Oh sister, I'm so sorry...I didn't mean that. I shouldn't have-."

Suddenly Freya's head came up and her hand smacked over her sister's mouth. "Hush...you hear that?"

It was too quiet was what Moira heard. "I hear nothing."

"Someone is here."

Instantly they withdrew their staves and whipped them around their bodies expertly, calling forth their respective magic; the destructionist and the healer.

"Show yourselves!" Freya demanded of the air.

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It was her.

After seeing her only weeks after he vowed to kill Anders and all siding with him, he wasn't sure if he could actually kill Moira. They had confessed love to one another, proposed a union together beneath Andraste's eyes. He wanted her in the deepest, darkest part of his soul that he hid from the world. He could not hide from himself that she was the most beautiful lass he'd ever known, in mind, body, and soul.

She was lying in the evening grass with her sister before a poorly pitched tent and tree. Her legs were bare to the sun, the skirts of her robes risen high beyond what was proper. She must have believed them to be alone with only the plains and the hills surrounding them. Maker he was glad for the sight.

Her black hair shown like polished onyx and she positively glowed with radiance. _More beautiful than Andraste herself._ He allowed the blasphemous thought to worm its way into his head, nay, welcomed it.

"Freya looks...well." Fenris said in a cryptic voice beside him.

The complete opposite of Sebastian's lovely, soft Moira, there was Freya. Where his lass was soft spoken and sweet, Freya was crass and loud. Where Moira was willowy and delicate, Freya was petite and curvy. There was wondering how Fenris had fallen for her despite how the two often fought so ruthlessly, but no woman could compete with his lass.

Moira even leaned toward the healing arts in her magic, helping others first, but using ice if she had to. She often rushed to his side if he was in danger, bringing up a wall of it to block incoming enemies.

But Freya was a force of death, enacting all but blood magic to her aid in battle. Calling down lightning and souls of the recently deceased in battle. Suffice to say, Sebastian preferred Moira's power immensely. How could two of the same womb be so completely opposite?

"Fenris...After seeing her again, I could never hurt her. My words were rash. Can _you_ bring yourself to fight Freya?" Sebastian asked, imploringly, hoping he was not alone in his regret.

"If you mean killing her...I cannot imagine doing so to Freya. As infuriating as she is, she is mine." Fenris hissed and made to stand.

Suddenly the two sisters leapt to their feet, whipping their weapons around in arcs and summoning magic to the fore.

The glint of armor caught both of the hiding male's gazes and their breathes were involuntarily stolen from their lungs.

Templars...

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Freya didn't give those bastards a chance to even _think_ about stealing their mana. She hisses in anger and used a Horror spell, laughing manically as the nearest Templar began squealing in fear and holding his head. Moira began buffers for her sister's aid, to keep them both at their peaks.

Freya continued the offensive, spinning her staff in an arc as her palm moved downward resulting in three Templars slamming into the dirt. She simultaneously used Chain Lightning, destroying three lives in an instant.

A Lieutenant appeared over the rise of the hill and Freya smirked, pointing the blade of her staff toward his helmet. "You're mine." she hissed.

Moira was busy summoning and didn't see the Templar Hunter coming from behind until she felt the air shift at her back, heralding a back-stab. "Maker!" she yipped and ducked as fast as she could, but she did not avoid a blade slashing her arm.

Freya had paralyzed the Lieutenant for a moment and spun to launch a stone fist upon the Hunter who dared attack her sister. "Attack, Moira, don't worry about me damn it!"

Freya turned, only to have a metal armored hand grab her neck and lift her body from the earth. Her mana being drained was one of the single most painful experiences she'd ever known and she couldn't help the blood curdling scream from bursting from her throat.

"_**No**__!_" Moria screamed, "Templar, she is with-child!"

"What?" A familiar voice echoed over the battlefield, but Moira was deaf to it, her attention trained upon her weakening sister.

"Do not drain her, Ser! It could kill her fetus!" Moira had moved closer, hands raised to ease the Templar's rage.

Freya's mind was not only racing against the pain and lack of air, but the idea of being pregnant. _You had better be lying, sister!_

Moira edged toward the Templar with her hands still high in the air, when she felt hands grab her thin shoulders in a crushing grip. The attacker spun her around and grabbed her jaw, roughly jerking Moira's head from side to side.

"A lovely one here." said a muffled voice from beneath the heavy helm.

"This one is a looker too," said the man currently strangling Freya, "But clearly a blood mage. Her hair is an unnatural color, and her fellow mage ratted her out. She's pregnant with demon spawn."

"Bloody waste, that. Kill her and we'll take our time bringing the raven one back to the Order."

"You damned beasts!" Moira howled, "She is _pregnant _and you're killing her!"

A sharp backhand, amplified by the metal gloves had her gasping with shock. "Shut up, bitch!"

Suddenly blood sprayed over her chest in an arc. When Moira looked up again her eyes locked on a white, very familiar arrow. She had once offered to help make one but had been hopelessly distracted by the tanned, course fingers dexterously adding feathers over her lap during her instruction.

She forced the daydream back and spotted Fenris standing over the Templar who had tried killing Freya. Or rather, what was left of the man. His body was cleanly hacked in two...

Fenris dropped to his knees and carefully cupped Freya's jaw, her eyes blazing with silent rage as she watched him. He took note of the darkening bruises on her neck and her struggle to calm erratic, drawing breaths. Blood lust lit his eyes and he turned to the body of the Templar, likely wishing he had not been so hasty with his kill.

Moria spun around and slammed into an armored chest, hands firmly grasping her elbows. She tried jerking back before she locked eyes with Sebastian. Fear constrained her throat, while a traitorous flutter in her lower abdomen rose up to her breast and hammered beneath her ribs.

His eyes were not cold and and filled with hatred like she had expected. They were wild with something she'd never before seen in him.

She felt a trickle of blood run from her wounded face to her lips and her tongue peeked out to avert the flow without thinking.

His icy blue eyes flickered down to watch the pink appendage and she suddenly wished she'd done so on purpose. He had left her wanting and needing for _years_. It was past time he felt something akin to what she had wanted from him.

Their trance was ended by a howling from behind. "BASTARD!"

Moira whipped her head around, ready to attack anyone harming her sister, when she realized Freya was only screaming in Fenris' scowling face while her hands were fisted in his collar, shaking him as hard as she could. "You left us! You left _me!_ We needed you and you turned your back on us! Not only that but you came here to kill us, didn't you? Why else would Sebastian here with you?"

"I...acted rashly, Freya." he said, as if it was all the explanation he needed.

"I didn't know you were only screwing me to prep for a damned back-stab!"

Fenris ignored the remark and instead asked her his burning question. "Are you...really pregnant?"

Moira slapped a hand to her forehead and chanced a peek at Sebastian beneath her fingers.

His eyes were locked on her. He still held that intense look, the one that had a direct link to her core. He looked like he could eat her.

"Well, Moira?"

Once again, she had to look away from his gorgeous eyes and pay attention to her surroundings. "What?"

Freya matched Fenris scowl for scowl. "You know very well what! Why did you tell that Templar I was pregnant?"

"Oh, um. Be...cause you are?" Moira said sheepishly, twirling a lock of hair to look as adorable as possible. Didn't work. "I've known for a week...I didn't want to tell you until we were on Isabela's ship. When you were safe and calm."

Freya's eyes widened to the size of saucers and she squeezed Fenris' hand in a death grip. She turned suddenly and grabbed his jaw, her nails biting his skin as she brought them nose to nose. "Don't leave me again, Fenris."

"Never." He growled, his voice so intense it sent chills up Moira's spine. "I will not leave your side again, I sweat it."

"Hmm. Good." Freya said, desperately trying to hide a growing grin and failing.

"If you are done here, lass, I would speak with you." Sebastian said softly over her hair to her ear.

A pleasant shiver ran from her toes up to her neck and she tried to stifle the tremble on its way. "I-Yes, they should have some time alone."

They moved away from the piles of corpses and the blood covered couple currently locked onto each other and walked back to the shabby tent. The scenery was noticeably different than it had been a short time before.

Moira sat down with a deep sigh and fluffed the hair surrounding her face back off her neck for some of the wind to cool her down. "What happened, Sebastian? Why am I not dead right now?"

She glanced over at him and stopped her next slew of questions from bursting forth. He was still looking at her in that intense way, stalling her mind and rendering her speechless. _Maker, Seb, just kiss me..._

"Something you want to ask?" she whispered.

"I saw you being...man-handled by those Templars, Moira. I had come after you and Freya for a lead to Anders whereabouts. I confess that, it was at first to seek revenge. But...seeing you, and then how easily you were both tortured for _sport_? I canna leave you to the dogs, alone and helpless. You are beautiful woman; your soul is the kindest I've known. Pure even. I should say you rival Elthina." he said, a peaceful smirk lighting his lips, taking Moira's breathe away.

"You deserve better than this, lass. As a fugitive...running from people who would only harm you. Come back to Starkhaven with me. I promise to give you want I promised back in the Chantry. I have not forgotten our vow."

Moira's eyes moved downcast and she shook her head. "You deserted us, called for revenge on all of Kirkwall. All of _Kirkwall_, Sebastian! As if that was not bad enough, you will kill Karinth's man if you see him and she will no doubt kill you if Anders is harmed. If I have to choose between you, we already know who I will side with."

Sebastian made to speak but she lifted a finger up, shushing him gently. "And if all of that were somehow put to rest, there is our vow. I cannot become a sister of the chantry, Sebastian. You say you think my soul pure, but I am far from it."

She took a steadying breathe and made sure she could not see his face when she spoke next. Her hands began to get clammy so she shot to her feet, and moved away as she whipped her hands on the skirt of her robes. She took a breath once more, and let her ache out.

"I have wanted you, Sebastian. I've dreamed of you _every_ night and wished you would forsake your vows for us to be together. That was so wrong of me. I am an Andrastian, its true, but I really only went to the Chantry everyday...to see your face. I would have done anything for you, if you asked._ Anything_."

With her embarrassing confession done, she felt like burying her head in the nearest gopher hole. She looked around, toying with that very image. She was good at dreaming...

Meanwhile, he was speechless. Aye, the longing in her voice, _"I have wanted you, Sebastian."_ It nearly undid him. So he followed her example by standing, before he started speaking.

"Moira, I am no longer a brother of the Chantry. In fact, I have no vows to speak of at all. Elthina had removed them of me before...the end."

Moira slowly turned her head towards him, but did not meet his gaze quite yet. "You're...not a brother?"

"I would like to have a relationship with you, lass." Sebastian said, then frowned. _That sounds so dull...Like asking her to tea!_ Mind made up, he reached out and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her swiftly into his arms. Her hands were warm through his cotton sleeves and her clean scent assaulted his senses. Only Moira would smell so sweet and fresh after weeks camping in the wild...It made him smile.

He must have caught her off guard so he lifted a hand to her hair, running his fingers through the tangled mass. "I want _you_, lass. As a man wants for a woman."

A sly look that he rarely saw in the milder Hawke's eyes caught him off guard. "You mean to say, Seb, that you would like an..._unchaste _relationship?"

His cringed then laughed softly. "I deserved that...However," he said, and his following grin was both as smooth and burning as the finest whiskey. "I am saying exactly that my lass."

Moira's sea green eyes met his again but they were hooded and wary. "Are you still...what about Anders?"

Sebastian frowned. "I will not lie to you, Moira. I will likely never forgive him. If Anders suddenly appears on my doorstep, I will not hesitate to shoot him. At least until this hatred has ebbed from my soul."

Moira leaned closer, laying a hand on Sebastian's neck as her other ran up his cheek rough with stubble. Her hand continued it's journey into his thick hair, which was softer than she had imagined. She savored the sensation. "Then, I will accept your offer. I'll come with you to Starkhaven and I will heal you of your hatred. Karinth will want to see her new baby cousin someday and I will not allow Freya to live far from me. My niece or nephew will be close at hand."

His warm palm rested on her cheek the callouses pleasant against her scrapped skin.

"And they say you are the diplomatic one! I do believe Freya has been a bad influence on you, lass." he said, jokingly, before his eyes softened. Sebastian pulled her even closer, his hand lowering to cup her chin and bring her face upward to his own. "You are too good to me, Moira. I am lucky to have you. And I promise I will make you proud to call me husband."

"Husband?" she murmured.

"I cannot live without you, lass. Be my wife."

She smiled, but shook her head quickly. "Sebastian, you're being hotheaded. Just wait until you have lived with me for a while before you ask that again."

His smile was a mile wide when his fingers cupped the back of her head and his other hand drew over her neck. Their first kiss was sweet and soft, perfect for them. "Then we will be together, Moira, and I will ask you again." He said, his voice rough with emotion. "Do not doubt it."

This time his kiss was possesive, full of need. She welcomed the fire that burst from her loins, impossible desire from one meeting of lips. Her nails scrapped his scalp, dragging him down to her level as she pulled him in.

"You play with fire, lass." he muttered as her hands went lower to wrap around his waist.

"Funny, I've never been good with it." she whispered, her breathe hot on his neck. Finally his hand lowered from her neck, running down between her breasts, to rest beneath. His thumb stroked the side of her breast and her intake of breathe went straight to his crotch.

"Maker, I swear you'll be the end of me, Moira." he said as she took pity on him, ending their kiss with her head beneath his chin.

"As you say...my prince." she said slyly as she went on tip toes and laid a soft peek on his exposed collar bone.

"I hate it when you say that." he said without heat, rubbing his thumb over her chapped lips.

"But it is the truth." She lifted her chin as a rogue wind ran over the hillside and she looked out toward the sea. A familiar ship appeared on the horizon and Moira rolled her eyes. _Isabela..._ "You said, Starkhaven was near the water?"

"It is." Warmth for his homeland was evident and she smiled at him.

"Then I think we have a ride home."

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Well, well? Tell me what you think! I'm toying with a couple of ideas with these three Hawkes, but this was kind of the prologue. (but kinda not, because some of my ideas were back during the act 2 and 3) Anyway, thanks for reading, drop me a line if you like it, or let me know what needs to change. Danka!


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